Say What? Use the ARM Approach to Communicate

Did you know the first thing to learning how to communicate well is to listen well? Actively listen .Then use the ARM approach to communicate well. This is an approach I learned in the business realm, but I quickly found that it worked well in my relationships as well.

A- Acknowledge the other person's concerns.

  • Use statements like, "I know, I feel that way too." "I completely understand" "Help me to understand more about what you said about..." "So what you're saying is..."

  • OR Repeat back a recap so that the individual knows you've heard and you confirm understanding.

Respond- Respond back with a solution or determine if acknowledgment is all that's needed.

  • It may be helpful to ask if the other individual wants to brainstorm a solution. He/she may just want to be heard.

  • If yes, then start to offer suggestion or feedback in the form of questions. Follow Jesus' example in this. Whenever he was in a tricky situation or asked a question that he could have been set up to fail with the answer, he asked questions that lead the other individuals to the answer. There is wisdom in this technique. I truly believe it's better for others to come up with solutions to their own problems, but they need a guide to get there. Be the coach/guide.

Move Forward- Ask if the individual needs anything else or feels like the issue is resolved.

  • This step helps bring resolution and allows the other individual confirm he/she is done processing before you move on feeling like you've resolved an issue that he/she may or may not be done processing.

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